Ask a Grizzled Old Prospector
Are you at a loss? Do you have a question and can't find an answer anywhere? You can stop looking, you silly bastard!
Welcome to the "Ask" series, where I invite a guest blogger to answer all of your pressing questions... about life, love, and all things in between. This week, a grizzled old prospector is here to address your life's most troublesome queries.
posted by Scooter @ 11:04 AM
5 Comments:
Jeb,
What's the funniest bazooka comic you've ever read?
Cinnamon and gravy! I tain't heard a question like tat since I's knee-high to a woodpecker.
Now, if I had to say me fav'rit Bazookie Joe cartoon I ever saw had Bazookie Joe sleepin' by a creek bed without his boots on. Then a confarnit packrat swam up, stole his bag of gold, gnawed off his pinky toes, then swam back off. Twas cotton-pickin' hi-larious, I tells ya!
Wait... that happened to me...
Baconlover,
All that depends on whether er not yer pooch wanted to join in. If that there dog jumped up on yer bed and said, "I do declare, let me in on that action!" I'd say kick 'em out. But if he says, "What y'all doin' right here?" I'd say to him, "Poochie, why don't you stay here and watch. Maybe it'll learn you somethin'."
How 'bout you come over to my shanty and we'll test it out. Then afterward we could share some beans from my bindle.
Jeb, how do you guard the hearts of the women in your life?
Dear Susan,
Rickets and tater twirls! I ain't knowed the touch of a woman since back in aught-six... and that was me grand-mammy!
But I'd say the best way to guard the heart of any female would be with a six-shooter. Or you could dig a trench around her heart, maybe sharpen a few sticks and poke them into the ground around her heart, too.
Shoo, doggie, if that don't guard her heart, I don't know what will, confoundit!
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