Things That Make You Go... Bwaaaaaah?
I know that all of you have seen or heard things that made you stop and stare in bewilderment. Maybe you said to yourself, "That's so stupid, I can't believe I just saw/heard that." The incident makes your brain feels like it's going to implode.
Example: I teach high school. Many of my students are, to put it nicely, not bright, so nearly every day I have at least one student say something so stupid that it actually makes me dumber just by hearing it. One particular instance comes to mind... All of my students were working on research papers, and I spent one whole day going over how to do outlines (you know, those things where you use letters and Roman numerals to organize your paper before you write it). A few days later the students were turning in their outlines. One student handed in his outline, and instead of having Roman numerals for each category he just had regular numbers. I must have made some kind of face while looking at his paper because he saw me staring at it and said (and this is the part that made my brain implode), "I had to use regular numbers because my computer keyboard didn't have Roman numerals."
I'll just give you a second to let that soak in...
Wait for it...
Yeah. Stupid, huh? And while I stared at him trying simultaneously not to laugh and have an aneurysm, another student said to this guy, "You dummy, Roman numerals are just capital I's and V's."
And here's another example, also from my experiences teaching: This happened in one of the college classes I've taught. We were right in the middle of a discussion on an essay when a student (his name was Hans) ripped the loudest, juiciest fart I've ever heard. The other students, of course, giggled nervously, but I was so stunned I didn't know how to respond. On the one hand it was pretty funny, so I wanted to laugh, but on the other hand I knew that since I was the professor I had to set a mature example. But before I could stop myself, my mouth opened and I realized I was about to laugh. I tried to stop myself from laughing, but instead a weird noise came out of my mouth (close approximation: Baaaaaaaaaaaah). And if that wasn't enough, I happened to be staring the guy eye-to-eye at the exact moment he let it rip, and he was giving me this look like, "What are you gonna do about it?"
So, what are some of these moments that you've experienced?
posted by Scooter @ 8:50 AM
17 Comments:
TV News Reporter to a Belgian chef: "Do you speak Belgish?"
Stupid girlfriend of a friend, to me, upon stumbling into a conversation we were having about Kierkegaard: "Ooh, I just love the clothing he's designing for Chanel!"
ROFL
my friend saying to my buddy Remco (who was visiting from Holland) - do you have indoor toilets in Holland?
Well, as a twin I've gotten a ton of the stupid comments thrown my way. For example:
*"Y'all are twins? You got the same birthday?"
*"Do you like being a twin better than not having one?" -oh yeah right, since I've experienced both during my lifetime
*And to my mother once, when Sara and I were still babies:
"Are they twins?"
"yes"
"Are they both yours?"
*and the one I hear the most: "Oh, you have a twin? Which one's older?" I have to say this now- twins are EXACTLY the same age ALWAYS- coming out one minute earlier than Sara does not make me older, we still were formed at the same millisecond when the egg split and therefore, we are exactly the same age.
Concerning indoor toilets: people have asked me the same about Georgia.
But that's a valid question about Georgia. I know. I did my undergrad there.
Is that why you carried toilet paper everywhere you went, Sara?
In Georgia, I carried a corn cob and/or a copy of the Farmers Almanac. Canadian fool!!! Scooter, back me up, here.
Ahhhh... I love being a Georgian.
As far as stupid things: people say the most stupid things about Georgia. It's like, they honestly think that "Deliverance" was an accurate depiction of the south.
Gimme a break.
Sarathena- where did you get your undergrad? I'm wondering which "Georgia" you saw. From your comment, it sounds like you went to Waycross College.
Emory.
And my comments were satirical.
what does satirical mean??
That's a good point. I think you should just not show up on Halloween. But dont tell your students.
Or even better, you could individually tell each of your students that you're offering them one free pass to miss class that day, but only them and a couple other students, and they have to keep it a secret. Then, leave that one guy out. Then he and you will be the only ones there, and you can lecture the whole time.
One of the stupidest on-going things my students say is when they constantly ask me, "Does this count?" when I assign them work. As if I would assign them meaningless work for the hell of it.
I am sick of staring at Michael Jackson. ET scares me.
Post, please
Remember E.T. cereal? Mmmm...
Remember E.T. the videogame? It was one of the crappiest of all time...
Just today I had a student ask me if there were black British people.
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